I was fucking around on way back machine and this was a pretty good guide I forgot about by materialbreed.

So you've got your Fake ID... here's some tips from me, for using it. I emphasize from me because we live in a crazy world where shit goes awry all the time. This is just my perspective on the situation, it is not the scientific way to never get caught with a fake ID ever.

A little about me: I am from another state in the US and quickly figured out after moving to NYC that I wasn't going to meet many people without having access to the bar scene. To me, my fake ID's purpose is not for drinking, but a tool for socializing. That being said, drinking itself was never the top goal -- getting into the bar was. This approach to using a fake ID has allowed me to figure out some pretty cool psychological and sociological shit that'll help you out with your time at the bar.

This guide is for bars only, and from my experience in NYC. General tips may be universal, while some may not be as relevant to your location. Some of these tips might seem trivial to the braveheart types who are completely comfortable with their ID. You know, those guys that will use it anywhere with no problems. At times throughout this post I will be overly in depth for the unsure / paranoid types out there.

I usually recommend staying away from clubs because of the security standards. Liquor stores aren't much of a science, you'll usually be fine if you act normal.

Before we start, I must say one more thing. Dealing with getting into bars, being carded or questioned, is more dependent on psychology than you think. People seem to get really hung up on every little detail of their fake ID, whether its in-state or not, how great the holograms are, scanning, etc. CALM DOWN. It's not the end of the world if your ID isn't perfect. I think all the vendors on here make their ID's scannable, UV, and with holograms, so the worst thing that can happen if you are careful is it gets taken away, in which you would just get back on here and buy a new one :)

1. Leaving the house.

Bring your real ID just in case. Put it somewhere harder to access like an inner coat pocket - don't put it in your wallet, it gets awkward when you mistakenly leave your wallet at the bar and come back and they ask you why you have two ID's. You should have your real one just in case shit hits the fan and cops get involved. Hide the fake and give them the real one. Don't give a fake to the cops. If you get caught at a bar somehow say you showed the bouncer your real ID and he didn't pay attention.

2. Showing up to bars.

Know the bar and the area. I live in NYC, we have different types of bars and different types of bouncers. These bar types are just names I'm coining to explain different types of places I've been to, I recommend taking a mental note when you go to a bar.

No bouncer bar. Bartender might card you. If they don't this is your new plan B bar. If you feel stressed using your fake this is the place for you.

"Underground" bar. The type of place you'd find outside of downtown in an area that happens to be popular. I see this type of bar a lot in younger college type neighborhoods. These places typically serve cheap drinks and have laidback bouncers. In NYC I've seen these a lot in Brooklyn and Queens.

Downtown bar. If you're in the bustling parts of Manhattan or a big downtown area of a city - the stakes are high for bar/club owners. One little shithead with a fake ID could cost them tons in fines and put their license in jeopardy. Depending on your city, there might be a downtown area like this you should be cautious at. They will have stricter security than other types of places, and the dudes are known to look at your ID a lot closer.

Hotel bar. These places are usually pretty easy - many times you're not even getting carded. If they do, its pretty laidback from what I've found. It can be a lot different if there's an upscale event going on like a rooftop party or some shit like that.

Afterwork / Food bar. These are bars that you can find anywhere that aren't really known for being huge on weekends but are good for getting a drink in the mid evening. There's typically not a bouncer and they have seating for food. These ones are pretty easy from my experience, I rarely get carded at this type.

I'll add more to this later, there's a few other kinds that have slipped my mind.

Other bouncer tips:

If the dude's decked out in a security outfit, he's 90% more of a problem than a dude wearing a black tee shirt and jeans from what I've found.

Bouncers usually don't start working until later (usually around after happy hour).

Smile and greet bouncers. "Hey how's it going?" works fine for me.

NEVER SHAKE while handing an ID. If its your first time I recommend pre-gaming to get a nice buzz to take the edge off things. Do some jumping jacks around the corner and take a deep breath -- but don't shake when you hand that ID.

Look at the bartender when he's looking at your ID. Don't act fidgety or look at the ground.

The more the merrier. I've found I have better chances getting into a bar with a group of four or five people than approaching a bouncer alone.

You don't have to but I recommend going out for a smoke and getting on a name to name basis with the bouncer so you become a regular if you like the bar. Then you don't have to stress when showing up. It's also nice to know the staff at the bar, could score you free drinks or help you get your friends in.

3. In the bar.

CASH is cool. For people with someone else's ID, its a must, but even for someone with their name printed on the ID cash just seems safer to me. You'll avoid outrageous drink minimums and forgetting your VISA at the bar this way anyways. Also easier to tip.

Don't get TOO FUCKED UP. The best way for something unexpected to happen is to get super wasted. You might say some dumb shit that gives away your age, make a scene, or whatever. The idea is that until you are 21 you want to be as careful as possible. People will respect you more if you can handle your alcohol and control yourself anyways.

NO FIGHTS. Yeah? Seems obvious. You'd think so, until your drunk and raging with passion. This is another good way for something unexpected to happen. As much as I've wanted to bash some loudmouthed macho fuck over the head with an empty miller high life before, it's not going to help an underage drinkers situation. This is probably the quickest way to get the cops involved and in turn you getting fucked over.

KNOW YOUR FAKE AGE. Seriously. Pretend like you're doing character development for a movie. Lie to the grave with your age. I've made the mistake of getting too comfortable with someone at a bar and feeling obligated to be honest with them and it has come back to bite me in the ass before. They usually won't care but there's no reason to disclose your real age - it's not worth it. Know what year you graduated from high school. Did you go to college? Where? When did you get your degree? What cartoons did you watch as a kid? How old were you during 9/11? Remember those Millenios Cheerios from 2000? Blah blah blah..

TIP THEM. This doesn't really have to do with being underage, but tip the bartender for crying out loud. $7 drink or less - I give them $1. $8-12 I give them $2. And so forth. Sometimes more if I'm feeling awesome. Don't go to a bar if you can't afford to tip. Get a 30 rack and stay at home.

4. After the bar.

Don't drive for fucks sake. Get a cab or take public transit. If you drive to the bar your car will be there in the morning if you parked normally. Don't get in your drunk friends car either, no matter how "good" he/she is. Wear a condom with that random girl you just met thats graciously coming home with you. Don't know where she's been. Vice versa for girls.

Tips for people using authentic ID's from a friend or family member:

This is fraud - so the penalty for being caught is a lot more than using a fake card.

Bouncers will often ask for something else with your name on it if they suspect a fraudulent ID. Saying you don't is a good way to expose yourself... Don't worry - when this happens they usually just don't let you in. These types of ID's typically expire a lot since they are legitimate. I've been rejected several times for having an expired ID. If an expired one is all you have, make sure you go to the right type of bar that won't give you problems.

EDIT: Was at the bar tonight and thought of a few more tips for you all:

Dress your "age". I know 30 year old guys who dress like teenagers, and they can. Why? Because they are 30 and have legitimate ID. It's not going to hurt your cause to dress like an adult. Don't look like a sophomore in high school.

If you look young, be confident enough to joke about it. I personally do, so if a bouncer or anyone mentions it I say something like "I know man, I'm hoping I'll only be banging 20 year olds when I'm 40."

Like someone pointed out: know your rights. I'm in NY where the cops aren't very nice. The first thing I do is lie and say I'm a law student when I get questioned. You aren't legally required to tell them the truth if they aren't legally allowed to question you. I just do this for effect so they are less inclined to give me shit. Then I say I know my rights, most the time they aren't allowed to ask for your ID unless they have a legitimate reason. No good reason? That's harassment. Ask them if you are being detained or arrested, and if you aren't you are free to go. If they are, say you want to talk to your lawyer.

Follow your intuition. If a bouncer looks hardcore, you feel bad "vibes", someones talking about stings, etc., get outta there. For real, just hop bars. Go meet some new people in a stress free environment. It's not worth the risk or stress. I once had a bartender laugh at my ID and say "This is expired, but next time you can't come here. I'll serve you drinks this time." After 10 minutes of no drinks in a fairly empty bar I took the girl I was with and left as 2 cops walked by and entered the bar. He had called the cops. Shit could've seemed fine but I followed my intuition.

General drinking tips (obvious for most, enlightening for some)

Mixing alcohol types will get you even more fucked up and contribute to nasty hangovers. When I go out I try and pick one liquor type for the night. A professor of mine back in the day once said "When you put rum in your body, your system sees squares, then you put vodka in your body and your system is getting triangles, triangles don't fit in squares, it's like that board game perfection. Shit doesn't fit right." I don't know the science behind this, but I believe it based on experience.

Drink lots of water for fucks sake. Alcohol thins your blood and dehydrates you. Some bars have a water jug and most bars (maybe not fancy ones or clubs) will give you water for free. If I'm conscious enough I always pound 8 cups of water before going to bed. Hangovers = rare.

An empty stomach makes your booze go a lot further. One guy's "poorman's drinking strategy" is another guys hangover. If you go out at 5PM, make sure to grab a few slices of pizza or something between bars.

In summary: Have common sense. More importantly, have a good fucking time.